Quan-Yin Goddess of Compassion
I love the ideal of compassion. I earnestly try to cultivate it daily and I’m not an entire failure. But I’m not succeeding brilliantly enough either.
I know I’m blessed and I wrote my five things I’m thankful for in my gratitude journal last night, yet I’m still plagued with un-compassionate thoughts about one stupid and ultimately insignificant situation that I wish didn’t matter to me at all.
Oh, but it grates on me… and I can feel so hateful and think such mean thoughts!
Damn- that really throws a monkey wrench into my preferred sense of self. You know, the one that’s calm, accepting, truly enlightened and clearly spiritually superior?!
Compassion -oh fuck it for being so damned non-cerebral! It makes such logical sense to me too; the feel of its peace in my own mind and body when I have it, the real goodness that radiates out to the world from such a mindset.
But the challenge of compassion is that it’s of the heart chakra, or some such nonsense.
Well…I think my heart chakra must need a pacemaker.
Still, in quiet moments I can see myself and my life as the Vehicle, moving through this whole experience of being. But I just winced at the glare off my own windshield as I was looking inward. And I saw something small and ugly behind my wheel, struggling to highjack my stalled car.
I think my little gremlin is Pride. I just don’t know what to do about the little fucker.
Having compassion for the small ugly thing behind the wheel is the hardest part of compassion. xoxo
Oh Joyce, you’re so wise. It’s a real lesson for me, learning to embrace that shadow. Thanks for reading- blessings to you!!
Finally, a new post!